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On Muses and their Inscrutable Ways

As anyone who's ever started a writing project of any kind will know, muses tend to disappear on vacation at the least opportune moments. My muse, who's been hanging around for a while, drinking my tea and eating my chocolate-covered pretzels (more on those later) and generally being kind and benevolent, has deserted me. Right in the middle of a few projects.

Let's be honest here. My muse? She hates me.

Most of the projects are completely unimportant. Except for the one that is totally, completely, irrevocably important. Yes, the one where I'm supposed to be writing a 6-8 minute speech (that's a lot of pages; I talk fast when I'm nervous) to give to a group of bratty little thirteen year-olds who don't give a damn. Not a damn.

I have two weeks to write this speech. I have an outline, presented to me by the class coordinator. I have instructions. I have no inspiration and no bloody muse.

My muse and I are in a vicious love-hate relationship. There are times when she'll stick around for months, bothering me at the least opportune times and making me write the most outlandish things. But at least she's there, and making herself somewhat useful.

And then there are the times (like the present) when she's gone (in Greece or Italy, I suspect) drinking fine wine and laughing at my misery.

She'd better get back soon. I'm about to resort to the ritual sacrifice routine.


( 4 philosophies — philosophize )
Jan. 25th, 2009 07:30 am (UTC)
Just don't sacrifice GOATS.
Because we all know where that gets you.

And have you tried eating pasta with Mizzithra cheese? Like you can get at the Old Spaghetti Factory? Apparently Homer ate only that while writing The Illiad. I mean, not from the Old Spaghetti Factory. He just ate the pasta.
Jan. 25th, 2009 06:27 pm (UTC)
Actually, I was intending to use my sister, but now that I think on it, the police might not look too kindly on that.

Did he? Really? Because I could do that, so long as I had my trusty tea and chocolate-covered pretzels as well.
Jan. 25th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
Ice-skating tonight! :)
Jan. 26th, 2009 01:56 am (UTC)
Muses are fickle, flighty creatures. I've learned to obey their pokes and prods when they deign to bestow them on you, but on those all-too-frequent occasions when they leave, no amount of cursing, hair-tearing, or tempting with goodies will bring them back.

But I do get stuff done on the rare occasions mine hangs around. The very rare occasions. (More's the pity. Can't get just to her hanging around...)
( 4 philosophies — philosophize )