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Lately I've been thinking that my parents perhaps raised me in the wrong way. Though, to be fair, I can hardly blame it on them. It's not their fault I've turned out the way I have. I could blame the culture or the media or the Man, but why bother? I prefer to call it a phenomenon of strange and wondrous proportions.

For example, normal students, when asked what they want to be, answer, "Oh, I want to go to college and study to become a lawyer/doctor/teacher/soldier/your-career-here."

My answer is something like this: "Oh, I think that after graduation I'll travel to New York, infiltrate the Mob, and become a get-away driver. After a few years of rising in the ranks, I'll take over and use my Mob to conquer the world."

I'll admit, I get a few blank stares.

But the real kicker came today, while I was innocently working on a history project.

DEAN OF STUDENTS: Ah, what's that you're working on?
ME: Oh, just a project for Mrs.-
DoS: Are you in fact forging signatures?
ME: Yes. I mean, only the Founding Fathers' signatures. And it's not as though they're going to care.
DoS: I see a long and profitable career ahead of you.
ME: Really? Because I was thinking, what with the economy the way it is, that I should maybe explore some non-traditional career choices.
DoS: Yes. And if you make it big, remember me and my wisdom.
ME: Ah. Yes.
DoS: And while you're forging Franklin's signature, see if you can't pick up a few of his patent checks.

Comments

( 6 philosophies — philosophize )
philia_fan
Apr. 2nd, 2009 12:28 pm (UTC)
I'm a pretty good forger myself. At my old job I often had to sign letters for the President of the organization or the Chairman of the Board (with their permission), and I got really good at both of their signatures. My boss couldn't tell my version of his signature from his own. He'd look at papers and say, "Did I sign these?"

Of course, I only used my powers for goodness and niceness, never for evil and rottenness.
ilysia_039
Apr. 2nd, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)
That's pretty amazing that he was unable to tell your version of his signature from the real thing. I'm glad you choose to use your abilities for good.

My forging ability isn't quite at the level where the world will have to worry about what I choose to do with it, but I'm hoping to get there soon.
pigrescuer
Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
Do you actually want to join the Mafia?

Because, really, I'd recommend the Italian Mafia. Sicily is much prettier than New York.

I'm a pretty good forger too. I can do my parentss and most of my teachers'. :D
ilysia_039
Apr. 2nd, 2009 10:18 pm (UTC)
Now, see, that's what I said. And obviously, I'd rather go with the original. It's just that I have no money, and hitch-hiking to Italy is a lot harder than hitch-hiking to New York.
darkiknowwell
Apr. 4th, 2009 02:40 am (UTC)
Oh how I wish I'd been out there for that conversation.

Have fun this week! :)
tremainelesu
Nov. 1st, 2011 10:19 pm (UTC)
Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!

( 6 philosophies — philosophize )