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Never More Shall They See My Face

I love bookshops? Don't you? Who doesn't? And if you don't, why are you here? Moving on.

As I said, I love bookshops, but lately they seem to hate me. Books-A-Million (I know, I know. My personal library is more interesting and inclusive than their entire store. But I digress.) is the best bookshop in Nowhere, USA. It's a desperate relationship, what's between B-A-M and me. Twice in the past month I've been accosted by other customers, both of whom have asked for my help in locating a book before realizing that I do not, in fact, work there. I suppose I look bookish and in need of a pay raise?

The incidents of mistaken identity are amusing but harmless. B-A-M in general is harmless. Except for its queer habit of sticking its erotica right bloody next to its itty-bitty classics section. Very embarrassing to pass from a shelf containing Homer and Beowulf to one sporting Bed On Arrival. And then there was this incident at the Customer Service Counter.

RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: Can I help you?
ME: Ah, yes. Do you have Sexing the Cherry?
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: Sexing the where?
ME: Sexing the Cherry.
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: I do not think so.
ME realizing how it sounds: Oh, God, no! I mean, yes. But also no.
RIGHTEOUS EMPLOYEE: I think you might want to go now.
ME: I am not the one who shelves the erotica right next to the classics!

In less insane news, the muse is back to stay. Apparently it was raining on her beach. Also: have gotten Paper Towns from darkiknowwell for my birthday. Much love to her and to the hilarious John Green. Nerdfighters FTW!

Comments

( 2 philosophies — philosophize )
philia_fan
Feb. 11th, 2009 02:07 pm (UTC)
Hi, I'm not stalking you, just wandering over from Sounis, and couldn't help a sympathetic snigger at the Righteous Employee who can't tell Jeanette-Winterson-genius-books from smut! Sexing the Cherry was the first Winterson I read, and I adore her.

Also, other people in stores ALWAYS think I'm an employee.
ilysia_039
Feb. 11th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
I suppose the other customers just see me there so often that they think I'm being paid to show up? Perhaps? Or perhaps it is the slightly manic glint in my eye as I scour shelf after shelf looking for that one, elusive title.

I've been chasing Sexing the Cherry for a while now. Haven't been able to get my hands on it as of yet, but hopefully that will change.
( 2 philosophies — philosophize )

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